TAG | Pub Review
I’ve recently taken it upon myself to start reviewing pubs for this site which is, on reflection, an idea born of monumental dumbness for two reasons- I’ve no idea how it’s done and I don’t know if it’s even possible.
I’ve reviewed plenty of things in my time and it’s a fairly easy process; if it’s a film, TV show, book, comic, album or game the main question is always the similar- is it entertaining/engaging/enjoyable/moving/funny/exciting or not? All you then have to do is flower the answer out to however many words and make references to other works by Martin Scorcese (this works best when reviewing a film by Martin Scorcese).
But what do we look for in a pub? If I review one, what should I really tell you about? Obviously the beer selection’s important but there must be more to it than that- otherwise I’m just reviewing a bunch of pints rather than a place itself. A general sense of he ambiance is important but how do you measure that? When I’ve put the quandry of how to review pubs to various people they’ve all mentioned that the toilets need to be analysed- but I don’t know anyone who actively frequents or avoids a boozer because of the state of the bogs. Similarly, food has been suggested as an area for investigation but do we rely on pubs to do food all the time or is it only important when we’re hungry? If I was reviewing chippys, I wouldn’t score it based on the cans of pop in the fridge.
On the subject of which- should there even be a scoring system? Should I give a pub a mark out of 10? Or 100? Or just give a verbal description which you have to read to have a clue if I like the establishment or not?
Clearly this is something of a minefield so I’ve aksed m’colleague Richard what he thinks. And this is it:
Having stewed over this for a few days and thought back over a decade spent in all the unique types of pubs we have in this country, I think what a good pub boils down to for me is:
- a setting for good memories.
I suggest this because that process of thinking back over the innumerable nights I’ve spent in pubs made me realise one main thing, that my memories always pop into my head in the form of: “do you remember that time in [a pub] when [a jolly good time was had by all]?” So it’s a case of time, place and event.
I think the pub’s role as the “place” for these memories is vital. Of course, for the memories to last years, you need good people too – but you can spend time with good people anywhere, so that’s getting away from the point of this question. Matt alluded to the sense of ambience a good pub creates and I believe this is what kickstarts the chain of events that ends up with a bunch of lasting memories surviving the haze of the morning after.
Attempting to categorise or score pubs on certain criteria seems pointless to me because when the pub’s role is just to create the right setting for people to have a good time, there are an infinite number of “good” and “bad” things. What is terrible and off-putting to me, and there are many things in pubs that do make me feel ill at ease, can be ideal for someone else. Rather than trying to create a rigid definition of what makes a pub good, I would rather look at a pub from the point of view of how it makes me feel. The main reason I keep going back to pubs and spending colossal amounts of money hunting down new ones is because I know there are always new ones out there which I’ll never know are just round the next corner, and I’ll wander in, sit down and suddenly experience that unquantifiable feeling that everything’s pretty much okay with the world.
So, then, I tend to agree with Matt. Scores and grades aren’t really much use in such a subjective world. I’d approach it by trying to capture the feeling, be it good or bad, and let the reader see if they empathise with the description. And what are the permanent plus points for me? I like pubs where I don’t feel any pretensions wafting around the air; I love dark wood and beams that haven’t changed for centuries; I love droplets of dew on a beer garden lawn, just after a summer shower has ended and the sun shines brightly through your beer. I like how people find it easier to talk, or sit alone with a paper if they want. I don’t really know of any other institutions this country has quite like a good pub, or where so many happy memories are formed.
So there we have it- no scores, no grades, just writing and remembering.
Starting later this week when me and Richard hit the infamous Ale Trail through Dewsbury, Huddersfield and Stalybridge back to Manchester on the train.
And then we’ll see what we remember.
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