The current motto for Hobgoblin is “What’s the matter Lagerboy, afraid you might taste something?”; which roughly translates to “Come and ‘ave a go; if ya think yur ‘ard enuff!”. Fighting talk for a fighting beer; the campaign featuring this slogan was labled as “offensive and agressive”; but then the only people who should be defensive about beer are alcoholics and Guardian readers.

This of course brings me on neatly to the location. Nowhere better to consume this fighting beer than Norath on my alter ego so I headed off to my bar to check out the supply of this heady brew.

Good news; the barmaid had it in! So whilst I waited for the wench to dig out this beverage I reviewed the necessary equipment for fighting dragons.

• 1 mythically enchanted sword, sharp enough to shave with? CHECK!
• 1 set of plate armour able to withstand the hottest dragon fire ? CHECK!
• 1 specially hardened shield; capable of deflecting a dragons feeble attempts to disembowel me? CHECK!
• 1 solidly built helmet with cool wings on? CHECK!
• 1 stein with spill-proof anti-damage dragon killing beer? CHECK!

Obviously I had to test this beer under the harshest of conditions and that meant fighting a dragon. Thankfully I knew of one and buoyed on by the fighting talk on the side of bottle I was easily able to attract the attention of one Waansu; somewhat cranky after just recently been freed from Perah’Celsis’ Laboratory where he was used as a experimental guinea pig.

Don’t worry; he was evil. The fact his horde was full of gold coins and contained many magical items never came into the discussion when my guild choose this target to protect the weak and defenceless of Norath.

Cracking open the bottle to empty into my spill proof stein wasn’t as easy as you might think. Perhaps I should have prepared this beer before attacking the dragon but the dragon’s claws offered a surprisingly efficient alternative to the humble bottle opener.

The first swig held nothing back however at assaulted the taste buds with a rage that told you. It was here and it was going to stay; similar in fact to when I took down one of the wings of Waansu making him unable to fly away. We were both in it for the long haul and no-one would be leaving until a dragon was dead and my beer was finished!

After a while it was easy to settle into the rhythm hack slash duck and swig. Each subsequent swig not as brutal as the first but the flavours were still as strong as my sword arm. This is certainly not a drink for the weak.

There is a certain sense of needing to take a moment every time you take a swig, this beer cannot be ignored and even if you attempt to slake that thirst in the midst of battle it wil drive back home how much flavour it has bring you sharply away from the important matter of dragon killing to the beer itself.

Of course as with everything it must end and as the mighty dragon finally succumbed, I drained my stein in victory before setting about with avengence at its horde.As my guild were recuperating at the bar I returned the empty bottle to the barmaid and proceeded to give my verdict.

The day: 3.
The beer: Hobgobblin Ale, 500ml, about 4.8% ABV.
The place: Norath, Perah’Celsis’ Abominable Laboratory
Positives: Certainly a fighting beer and doesn’t hold back on the flavours; easy to open top even in the midst of battle.
Negatives: Certainly not a quaffing ale for celebration the almost over powering flavours need to be savoured . Does not go well with snacks and there is difficulty in drinking it with a helmet on.
Conclusion: It claims its a fighting beer but in the heat of battle a more refreshing ale is required. Ironically the fighting beer… is best enjoyed in a warm inn room at the fire. A very good beer but a beer which takes all of you to enjoy it.

ale · beer · dragon · eq2 · fighting · norath