[491] The upper hand May 18th, 2007 – 2:34am Posted in Thoughts 1 comment

I’m going through this phase of seeing when people have the upper hand in situations and how they revel in it. This scenario is one of man’s most undesirable characteristics if you ask me. It’s sad how even the best people become arrogant and live for that moment; that one, crucial moment when you sense that you’ve got the high ground in an argument, whether it’s come around by your own intention or pure chance, and you charge down the hill and milk it for all it’s worth. Now, of all the things I know about myself, I know that one of the good things is that I don’t like anyone I’m near to me to feel hurt or be in pain and that’s why I take the hits even if I think I’m right. It’s just not right seeing someone suffer.

[490] Morrissey had it right May 13th, 2007 – 1:11pm Posted in Thoughts No comments

What encapsulates Morrissey for me is his coldness. I’ve recently noticed that all of the people I really understand and associate with are cold, unemotional characters. And if you look at Morrissey’s work it’s all an analysis of human nature written from the perspective of someone who never really feels anything from the heart; it’s all in the head. “And if the day came when I felt a natural emotion, I’d get such a shock I’d probably jump in the ocean.” I’m not sure if that line’s adequate to explain this feeling to someone who lives from the heart, but to someone like me who just doesn’t have that, it sums everything up perfectly. Everything is forced. Everything has to be studied. Everything is an imitation of how others act.

I’ve been thinking about this because of a woman. I don’t think I’m meant to be with someone really and I’ve …read more.

[489] Birthday May 12th, 2007 – 11:35am Posted in Events No comments

I’m now 26, and I have a normal job which I feel as if I might stick with for a while. I quite like working at the Telegraph. I can do the job and I’ve got Angie, Mark, Irish and the rest there for company. It’s also restored some structure to my life which I’d completely lost around Christmas time when all that business happened. I fell into patterns that didn’t match any of my friends or family and I didn’t like how chaotic things became. But that’s over now.

I had a really good birthday down at the Witton quiz watching the Rovers. I was disappointed by a couple of people but I guess they have their own lives and I shouldn’t expect anything from them. Those who did show their faces made it a really good night. We won four of the five rounds between us and the general …read more.