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[392] Sex people September 29th, 2006 – 9:34pm Posted in Daft 1 comment

At a loose end, I spent last night buried away in the cavernous vaults of The British Library flicking through their extensive collection of 18th Century to present day pornography. You’d be amazed what some people get up to. In Dickensian England, it was par for the course for refined gentlemen to retire to the drawing room, whip out their stuffed weasels and release their pent-up hormones into the (fortunately deceased) creature at the end of a long day’s slave trading. During the Second Boer War (1899-1902), frustrated female medics found the ceropegia ampliata a versatile plant:

Modern pornography, or “pr0n” as it as known as among adolescent males chained to their computers, is by comparison far less diverse. After an hour in the archives cutting from Ass Blasters 2 to Phat Black Wet Asses, through Head Case into White Sluts Black Nuts, I …read more.

[390] An analysis of how it began September 28th, 2006 – 11:50pm Posted in Thoughts No comments

Tonight, readers, I have an old-fashioned story of love, passion and slavery that man has been telling for years upon years upon years.

Recent events have given me cause to sit back and think about how the world has been unfolding before me in recent years. As I mentioned in a couple of recent posts, over the past few months I’ve noticed a change in my feelings and behaviour that, when I think about it, had been progressing for quite some time. Pinning down the reason for this was something I found impossible; I knew I felt different, I just couldn’t think of a reason why.

To be specific, for quite some time I’ve felt like the spark of inspiration that drives so much of my life has been missing. For long periods, nothing seems clear in my head; it feels foggy and slow. It’s a bit like Ray Mears trying to …read more.

[389] Sturm Graz September 23rd, 2006 – 11:43am Posted in Events No comments

Last night was a good, old-fashioned night of heavy drinking and casual banter. I spent half an hour of the night thinking about just how good the opening thirty seconds of Echo Beach are, and the remainder trying to keep apace with company who had six times my energy and enthusiasm. I’m starting to wonder whether it might be the tablets I take for my stomach that make me so tired sometimes; I seem to lose energy so much quicker in the past couple of years than I used to do. When I was young we used to stay up wandering around the golf course all night, but I just lose energy these days. It seems more than a coincidence.

Regardless, it was good old-fashioned fun. “Old-fashioned” is my new expression for anything that was good, because the past always makes me happy. There are plenty of good memories to make …read more.

[388] A clarification September 21st, 2006 – 6:53pm Posted in Thoughts 1 comment

I thought a little more about what I wrote a few nights ago about feeling a little devoid of inspiration recently. One of the symptoms that’s niggled me is the noticeable drop in the number of times I actually laugh. By that I mean a laugh as in when I hear something and it makes me lose control for a moment. That happens so rarely these days that I became worried that there was something wrong with myself or the people around me. On reflection, I think it’s just that I’ve moved on from the things that amused me when I was 18 and now it takes a lot more to make me smile. Nearly everything hits me on the inside, so I guess to people around me I look a dour cunt without a sense of humour. It’s just that, these days, I’ve really developed a very dry …read more.

[387] El Diego September 20th, 2006 – 2:35pm Posted in Geek 3 comments

To give it its full name, El Diego: The Autobiography of the World’s Greatest Footballing Genius (Amazon, HMV, abebooks) is the footballing equivalent of a motor car manual; a book for men who like cars just that bit too much.

I’m sure Maradona is what my grandma would call a ne’er do well, a bit of a character, a firework. Unfortunately if you believe his portrayal of himself in this book then it seems he’s a football anorak who’s looking forward to putting his silly cocaine days behind him and settling down at 4.45 on a Saturday with a cup of tea and his pools coupon.

The depths of detail he explores in recounting his favourite players and football teams throughout his career remind me of a 13 year-old boy flicking through his sticker album, excitedly pointing out his favourites …read more.

[386] Job and college news September 19th, 2006 – 11:34am Posted in Events 4 comments

The company I turned down a job with last week came back with an offer of more money yesterday. I’m still not going to take it; it was still below what they advertised it as and that keeps niggling at me, which I guess is a case of principle. Taking it would also mean I’d have a real struggle to get back into Blackburn on Monday and Tuesday nights in time for my night classes, which start at 6pm. So, it’s two fingers up to them and back to the hordes of freshers asking me where the toilets are.

In college-related news, all being well I’ll be able to skip the first two years of the five year course thanks to the Open College B course I passed a year ago and my numerous years at uni in the past. Finally, those years come to some use! In effect, then, I’ll …read more.

[384] Lead Balloon September 17th, 2006 – 12:03pm Posted in Bad Things No comments

I’ve seen a short advert or two for this and it looks painfully like a rubbish British version of Curb Your Enthusiasm. This compels me all the more to buy a digibox just so I can revel in its shitness.

[383] Monkeys September 17th, 2006 – 1:59am Posted in Bad Things 2 comments

If you chain a million Richards to a million word processors, when will anything of consequence come of it?

Something’s changed these past couple of years, and I don’t like it. I had a brief period of contentment when I used to come home from work and jump on a train to Manchester with John; they were genuinely happy days. Simple times. Simple pleasures. Something’s changed since then. It’s a bit like a life-wide writer’s block. I sit with people and nothing comes to mind; I’m like a spring run dry. I look at them and can’t think of a thing of interest to say. And that’s the key: nothing of interest. It’s easy to waffle on about balls but I just can’t do it any more. It’s so dull and I really don’t see the point. It’s so obvious when someone’s making polite conversation with me that I’m so dearly …read more.

[382] Good news, bad news September 15th, 2006 – 2:15pm Posted in Events 2 comments

So, I was offered a job the morning after my interview, but I’m not going to take it. They offered me a few grand less than they’d advertised the job as paying, which is a bit baffling, but ends up meaning it’s not worth my while taking it. It’s almost as far from home as my current job, would mean almost twice as many hours and the pay is negligibly more than I earn now.

Ah well.

I’m not really too bothered as I’m content in my current job; after all this time I can do it blindfolded and it pays enough to live off. And it’s nice to know that I can get a job if I want one; it’s just that in this case, I don’t want one. Ah well.

[381] Dave Abell’s woodland September 11th, 2006 – 8:03pm Posted in Events, Good Things 3 comments

I spent the past weekend in a forest in Wales. Not often you’ll hear me say that, but on this occasion it’s true. What was I doing there? No, I wasn’t burying the members of Feeder after going into a post-gig frenzy – I was spending two days sitting in a woodland drinking beer with friends.

Dave’s woodland is a great little place that you could only fail to fall in love with if you’re really not the outdoors, roughing-it type – and I know and understand quite a few people like that. Personally I’m all for it because it’s rare I spend time in a place like that – it’s not just outdoors, but it’s remote and quiet. No cars, no repetitive noise – just trees and a few people. The noisiest part of the weekend was being woken by laughter in the mornings.

I’m sure this photo I’m currently using …read more.

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