[343] A long post cut short May 30th, 2006 – 2:09pm Posted in Daft No comments

I wrote quite a lot this morning on the hot topic of confidence, but upon re-reading it after dinner, I realised it was gash so I’ll cut it off and instead leave you with this question: Which group would be worse at running the country: babbling, incompetent, slow middle-aged dinnerladies, or insanely bitter, backstabbing lesbian bus drivers?

After fannying about for five minutes just then waiting to be given some shitty fucking risotto by any one of the babbling bleached-haired twats at the canteen, I vote for the dinnerladies.

[342] Bonjour. Ca va? May 30th, 2006 – 1:20am Posted in Events 2 comments

Hello there. It’s a time of day/night I haven’t contributed to the internet to since I was 17 and it was normal for me to drink eighteen pints of eighteen percent cider and then stagger home and express my wankish opinion upon the world, but here I find myself now with nothing better to do so YOU SHALL READ.

Very, very much has happened since I last posted. I don’t remember what that last post was about but by definition that means it was something entirely inconsequential that I was piddling my short life away with. Lois, I suppose. (Upon re-reading that does sound like an intentional association of Lois and Inconsequentiality; it was not. She has consequences.) We’re giving it a go because we’re still pretty much great mates and splitting up meant losing so much that we’ve developed together over the time we’ve known one another. We are and always will be very …read more.

[341] Lost in Timperley May 12th, 2006 – 2:03pm Posted in Daft No comments

Last night, just before becoming hopelessly lost while trying to find Timperley Metro station at midnight after seven pints, I had a good little period of thought about my future and I think it’s helped me narrow my choices down. I’m considering Manchester again after realising that many of my reasons for disliking the place were quite possibly down to the circumstances of the past year here – not necessarily the place itself. I effectively haven’t lived with John, I’ve been isolated at work and Lois’ opinion of the city coloured my own. If I can remedy those things, would it be such a bad place to live?

Time shall tell. Anywho, over the past week my life has felt very much like an episode of Neighbours and I’d like to share with you some of the pearls of relationship wisdom I’ve found myself saying.

“It just needs time” – …read more.

[340] 33.3% completed May 11th, 2006 – 12:41pm Posted in Events 2 comments

I was 25 yesterday. It felt like I should reflect on that fact at the time, but really there’s not much to say about it. After about 22 or 23 they all just blur together and although 25 has a couple of landmark characteristics it doesn’t change the way you feel at all.

When I think back, I’ve had a pretty good time – there’ve been plenty of laughs. I appreciate how lucky I was to meet my friends so early in my life; I know a lot of people who just move from group to group and try to fit in the best they can, and some who just stick to family. But I’m still in touch with all my old friends because I really do get on with them as people, and I’m thankful for that. I love my family, too – my sisters make me laugh so much …read more.

[339] A resolution May 9th, 2006 – 10:04pm Posted in Thoughts 2 comments

I admit I made a mistake with my previous post; it was meant as a cathartic release of thought to help me get a few things clear in my head, but I didn’t see it was too soon to talk about such things this openly. In future I’ll stick to thought about the future – I think that’s going to dominate events for the next few months until something new is settled. I should have realised it’s not on to talk about blue feelings as I did but at the time, I wanted to share my experiences in the way I’ve read others share theirs and so empathised with. I’ll keep it on the backburner from now on.

[338] Beginning again May 9th, 2006 – 12:07pm Posted in Bad Things 2 comments

The feeling of vastness of what I’ve lost has really hit me this morning. I’ve gone from the security of having a future I was happy with planned out ahead of me (living in Blackburn with Lois), to being alone again with a feeling of inconsequentiality about everything I do. I just had a look at her MySpace page and to read it all changed back to “single” and “like to meet people” is horrible. Yesterday, she was mine, today, she’s someone else’s. I think the root feeling is of sadness that you’re not going to be the one for that person – you feel second best, a reject.

I really don’t know what to do with myself and my future now. I’ve never really settled in Manchester – it feels faceless, industrial, lonely. I’ve stayed in this job for too long out of convenience so there’s nothing tieing me …read more.

[337] Talking Heads May 8th, 2006 – 7:28pm Posted in Daft No comments

Talking Heads are fucking brilliant!

[335] Better to have… May 8th, 2006 – 7:14pm Posted in Events, Memories, People 2 comments

A little sad news for you today, I’m afraid: myself and Lois are no longer together. Everyone’s been saying it’s come out of the blue and I understand why, but it just reminds you that nothing’s ever as it seems on the surface, eh?

Anyway, if there’s any point to life it’s to learn from your mistakes and I’ve been trying to do that, so I won’t bore you with a long-winded excruciatingly frank account of why it hasn’t worked out. Instead, I’ll try to cheer myself up by thinking back to the positives that came out of our sixteen months together.

Her greatest effect on me, day to day, was in giving me the security and confidence that you get from knowing you have someone back home for you. Having that wipes out a million and one little doubts and insecurities. It’s been good feeling that confidence for so long now.
I’ve …read more.

[336] Taking a break May 4th, 2006 – 1:20pm Posted in Events No comments

Later today I’ll be off to Haworth for the 40s weekend with Lois and the rest of the family. I’ve been once or twice before and it’s always been a laugh, so I’m really looking forward to it at the moment. Over the past few weeks a lot of stuff seems to have built up and I’m spending a lot of my days thinking about the future and the people around me, so this will be a good chance to let all of that go for a few days.

I’m still definitely in the awkward Easter period, as I mentioned a few weeks ago. Nothing can be settled this early in the year but it’s always there at the back of your mind regardless. Last year, we didn’t sort the house out until a couple of weeks before we left Blackburn; I hope it’s not left that late again this …read more.