[18] Songs and memories September 23rd, 2005 – 8:38pm Posted in Memories, Thoughts No comments

I listen to Englishman In New York and I’m back in Peck’s car four years ago. Weird how a song can do that.

[19] Life in a Northern town September 14th, 2005 – 6:39pm Posted in Events No comments

Lots of little events have littered the past few weeks but the one observation which ties them all together sounds quite obvious, as these things often do when you spell them out. (I think the challenge is not in observing these things but articulating them, then.) I shall begin with something as mundane as the mind could conjure: the passageway along the centre of our house. It must lead quite a sad little life as it’s most defining feature is a sharp turn into the kitchen as you enter the back room; as you do so, you enter pitch blackness for a moment and coming from stark light it’s always quite an odd sensation. For that moment the house feels just a little more alien and unwelcoming and it’s the one part of the place I haven’t grown used to yet. Unease extends all over Manchester – not unease, perhaps, …read more.

[100] Lolita September 14th, 2005 – 4:42pm Posted in Good Things, Thoughts No comments

Now, this is a tricky one. This entry has lain bare for a long time because I haven’t been able to come up with the words to explain it. Can I dismiss straight away, though, the sexual aspect of it all. Yes, the story is about an older man having a relationship with a younger girl, but I don’t think sex is the main reason for it. After all of my musing on the subject, I think desiring someone younger than yourself boils down to one of the same dark, sad check marks for a lot of friendships – the inescapable feeling of confidence you derive from feeling superior to someone. I know it happens a lot in regular friendships – you act so differently around people you feel superior to, and even when you’re aware of it and disappoint yourself by falling into it, you can’t escape that little …read more.