[166] Thought bomb March 27th, 2005 – 11:31pm Posted in Events, Thoughts No comments

One of the things I’ve noticed about having a missus, is that I can make lighthearted jokes about my mates and their own despairingly futile efforts to find companionship. You know… “Oooh, are you courting?” “Where is it tonight, the back alley or the skip?” You can say stuff like that because you have this strange inner confidence derived from having someone yourself to fall back on. The old hints of bitterness and envy are there no longer, and you find yourself making the same playful jokes which used to irritate you so much when some fucker with a woman on his arm used to parade around in front of you.

I feel a spot of Richard’s Rage for Morrissons today. I just did a “big shop” and bought two packs of their vegetarian sausages, on the basis I have bought them numerous times before and they score a solid seven …read more.

[157] 45 seconds March 27th, 2005 – 5:14pm Posted in Events No comments

Nothing of consequence to say at the moment, although I am just listening to Waiting For The Siren’s Call, the new New Order album, and it takes about 45 seconds for the classic New Order sound to kick in. I don’t seem to have any free time these days to sit back and muse over the injustice of life, so there’s only been the odd thought bomb like that below. I’m pretty tired because of this endless list of things to do and places to be, but I’m not complaining; it beats my years of solitude and sloth hands down. It’s Lois’ 18th birthday this Friday, which should be a good night. I don’t expect to see her much as there are shitloads of her friends coming out, but we’re off to Manchester together on Saturday so that will make up for it. I miss her a lot these days? …read more.

[167] One of those sleepless nights March 25th, 2005 – 6:32pm Posted in Events No comments

I’m having one of those irritating nights where my body feels tired but my mind is full of thought, leaving every key press an effort but one I’m compelled to make. Just to rub it in, the clocks went forward at some point earlier so I had a surprise when I glanced down at the clock which had automatically shot forward an hour, making it feel impossibly late/early. When you’re up at this hour you feel like you should be setting off for work on a breakfast news show or delivering fairly priced milk to people’s doorsteps UNLIKE THE BASTARD MEGACORPORATION SUPERMARKETS who’re fleecing the GREAT BRITISH FARMER DRY.

L’il bit of late night rage there, for you.

I watched Vanilla Sky with the Lois tonight. The first thing that struck me was the coincidence of this sentence from my last entry: “They’re little things, but combined it seems to me a …read more.

[36] Ringtones March 21st, 2005 – 4:55pm Posted in Bad Things No comments

Falling into this furnace, I push any polyphonic rendition of a classical piece or any monophonic murdering of a pop song. Aside from the tune itself, the key element is the volume. I often find myself wondering whether I have very sensitive hearing or the rest of the world is fucking deaf as a coot.

My bus to work is often filled by the first of the three main culprits for this crime: students with too much money. This bunch will have phones armed to the hilt with polyphonic interpretations of Rock Me Amadeus, Angels and, to show their kooky pop culture awareness, The A-Team theme tune. The beauty of this lot is their seeming indifference to the fact they’re paying £1.50 a time to download a tune that you could write better on the ZX Spectrum twenty years ago; my mum’s two hundred line Basic program to play the Robin …read more.

[168] We’re all going on a nearly summer holiday March 20th, 2005 – 7:02pm Posted in Memories, People, Thoughts No comments

Back home after three days away with Lois. I’m missing her straight away. As soon as I closed the door and turned back into the house, she just… wasn’t there, you know? It was quiet and cold and I was at a loss what to do with myself. The light outside dimmed to that unpleasant dullness which makes even the beauty of the reservoir look plain and passionless. I wish she was here! She calls me names, she hits me, but I’d give anything to hear those words or feel those blows again. So, so lame, I know…

I’m happy I met Lois at the age I am now. I always said to Michelle how I wish I’d been older when I first met her; many of the inept mistakes I made with her wouldn’t have happened had I had any degree of logic. She’s in the past now, one who …read more.

[169] Thought attack March 12th, 2005 – 6:35pm Posted in Daft, Events No comments

Why the fuck is there so much to write about at the moment? I’m sick of writing! I’m afraid I’ll have to cut down on the usual forty days and nights of slavish effort I pour into every entry here, and just have a thought fart to get all of this out…

I have a thing for Candida Doyle from Pulp.
Many of my friends and family are quite down at the moment, and I feel powerless to do anything about it. This is having an adverse effect on my own mood, given the manner I absorb my friends’ moods like a vampire.
Pulp’s videos are teh 1337.
I’ve decided to give the worrying a rest, and just take it easy with Lois. It all still feels very surreal, and as if I’m looking down on someone else’s life, but at some point I’ve got to just accept that she likes me or I’ll …read more.

[173] Retrospective and preemptive apology March 10th, 2005 – 7:09pm Posted in Thoughts No comments

[175] An update March 9th, 2005 – 9:11pm Posted in Events No comments

Perhaps the last entry was a little too obtuse, but I’ve been writing a lot recently and a story like that flowed more naturally than another little entry like this. One of the most frustrating aspects of spending your time writing is in reaching the end point, when you’ve created what you set out to and there’s nothing left to do but release it for judgement. That you have to do this is frustrating as you can never really assess it yourself, because it’s like trying to judge the height of a building from the inside – there’s no perspective. So, perhaps the metaphor’s too veiled, or perhaps it’s as stark as the sun shines bright – I’ll leave that verdict to your call.

I’ll take a brief trip into miscellanea now for the benefit of years to come, for the odd occasion I look back on these pages and wonder …read more.

[176] Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery March 2nd, 2005 – 11:12am Posted in Thoughts No comments

A boy, David, walked though his front door for the last time and left for the country to find work. He walked along the road for a short time, until he came upon a man standing crestfallen at the side of the road. The man was trying to lift a stone onto his cart but did not have the strength to move it on his own.
“Can you help me, boy? I will reward you handsomely!” called the man.
“I wish I could, but I do not know how,” David replied.
“I will show you how,” said the man, gesturing David over. “Stand across from me and take the weight as I lift.”
David moved hesitantly over to the stone, unsure he could bear the weight. The man grasped David’s arm in his hand and smiled.
“Do not worry, boy. Watch me and do as I do.”
Taking a deep breath, the man began to lift …read more.

[35] Billy Connolly March 1st, 2005 – 2:54am Posted in Bad Things No comments

While John’s antipathy for this bastard is long running, Lois reminded me of him recently. “Ah’m Billy Connolly! Ah’m Scottttttish! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I just sed fuck!” He has fewer tricks than David Blaine, the man whose idea of a magic trick is sitting in a box for a long time doing nothing. A nightmarish, never-ending residency on Parkinson hasn’t done much to endear him to me either. “So, Billy, how’s it going this week? What inane questions skirting around any subject of interest can I use to cue up yet another of your monologue anecdotes?”