[268] Always falling in love April 29th, 2004 – 7:27pm Posted in Events No comments

Morrissey is full of contradictions, as we all are. Also, Irish Blood English Heart looks to be continuing his solo career theme of decent lyrics let down by uninspiring music and him rhyming the same words embarassingly often.

Twin Peaks is getting progressively more mental. David Duchovny?

To clear something up, I quote Michelle being anal: “Not that i wan to lay any claim to Kieran, but I met him at work, then Katie started to work with us, then he worked at Asda and met Dan. Just a little thing I noticed on your pictures page. Oh yeah, and i may eat fish but I don’t eat other meat as you say I do! not that I’m anal or anyhting.”

The Germans signing my Guestbook are fast becoming one of the highlights of the site. Unless they’ve put together a script to automatically sign it, which I strongly doubt because I wrote …read more.

[269] If I had life April 27th, 2004 – 7:28pm Posted in Events No comments

This little entry was going to be all about apathy, but I don’t have much passion for the subject.

I’m feeling better, anyway. Thanks to everyone who showed concern; it’s nice to be thought of. I’m feeling a bit empty in the aftermath of having such extreme feelings to fuel those little rants last week, so I won’t go on for long here. I’m glad the feeling has passed; I haven’t had it that bad for more than a year. That was the first time it’s affected my sleep, too; I woke up four or five times on Tuesday night shaking with nightmares… I don’t remember exactly what they were about, but can recall some nasty, sharp imagery like a bad trip. I’m not sure if I did anything to help it pass, beyond going to Dundee which was a good distraction, so I’m worried I’m defenseless to another attack. Still, …read more.

[118] Disaster movies April 27th, 2004 – 5:02pm Posted in Good Things No comments

I’m a big fan of disaster movies. A staple of Sunday afternoon ITV, they’re one of the only kinds of trash TV I can bear these days. I think I like the straightforwardness of them all, of knowing this happens, then it turns sour, then it’s all hugs and kisses at the end. I also like watching death and destruction. Top disaster movies, no order:

The Poseidon Adventure – water, hanging off pipes, upside down rooms.
The Towering Inferno – Steve McQueen, enough said.
Killer Bees – legendary moment where man wards off swarm of killer bees with a shotgun.

Those are the only good ones I can think of. The rest are shit, come to think of it. Jeez, what a lame Woohoo.

Addendum to original: The Day After Tomorrow is lame too. Too much cheese, too many cliches, not enough death and destruction. I mean, come on, the black homeless guy who’s Wise …read more.

[270] This story is old, I know, but it goes on April 26th, 2004 – 1:29pm Posted in Events No comments

My glasses have fixed theirselves! I feel so excited I just had to mention it. The left arm has been close to collapse for a week and I’ve been avoiding fixing the problem by alternately wearing my contacts for too long and having blurred vision. And now they’re fine! I don’t think I’ll ever take them off for fear of them choosing to be broken again. Unfortunately loading up this page has reminded me that I was going to write something a little earlier about how much having to pay for the toilets at Glasgae bus station annoys me, and that I’ve been feeling apathetic for the last few hours, and that I really miss a couple of people for different reasons, and that I’m so annoyed with myself for being weak enough to feel like this and shout it out to the world on here, but apart from that …read more.

[271] Loud loutish lover treat her kindly, though she needs you more than she wants you April 25th, 2004 – 7:29pm Posted in Bad Things, Events No comments

Unfortunately I still feel bad today. I woke up, had a shower then had to go lie down again because I suddenly lost all energy and could only sit there with my head in my hands. I didn’t move for hours until my phone went off and they asked me when I was going in to work. Talking was the last thing in the world I felt like doing at that point but I decided that going into the outside world might help in some way. The first few steps were horrendous. Everything around me seemed to be delighting in rubbing its simple-minded glee in my face. I felt violent again, probably just jealousy again. I was walking down the road and a couple of girls were coming the other way towards me. They seemed the least appealing thing in the world, I hadn’t realised I’d lost that interest too …read more.

[272] Does the body rule the mind, or does the mind rule the body? I dunno April 21st, 2004 – 7:30pm Posted in Bad Things, Events No comments

I’ve had an utterly awful day, which has come out of nowhere. I hope it’s just the comedown from the night before, and not the start of something worse. I have felt very bad all day and haven’t managed to shake the feeling yet. I woke up and within an hour I felt incapable of doing anything but lie there on the settee doing that strange looking-but-not-watching thing at the TV. Every last drop of enthusiasm, will and motivation dripped out of me, bang, just like that, from one night to the next. I got extremely angry at some idiotic TV programme which came on, one of those nasty “let’s watch some rough fuckers shout at airport staff because they missed their flight, again and again” fly on the wall things. About Easyjet, or something. I was literally incapable of moving at this point, I know it sounds insane but …read more.

[47] Obscure indie April 17th, 2004 – 5:39pm Posted in Bad Things No comments

I’m just bitter about this one. And I’m drunk now so don’t take this too seriously. I’m listening to The Owls Go by Architecture in Helsinki right now. It’s all just too… cool, for me. Way too cool for me. Belongs to a stratus of floppy-haired cool kids I can’t belong to. That’s what annoys me, I guess. Wow, whatannoys me. Those words look so good stuck to each other. But indie… damn it. Perhaps a symbolisation of my failure at uni to fit in with the motherfucking oh-so-cool kids. I don’t know. Really. Pah, this is so lame and Livejournal-ly, I’m embarassed to be writing it. There’s a lot better in me, if I could stay sober and clean for a few days and find myself able to put the effort in to stop listening to The Smiths and put this vague talent to the use I know it …read more.

[273] Time flies April 7th, 2004 – 7:32pm Posted in Events No comments

I can’t believe it’s April 7th already. Time is going so fast. I’m really struggling to motivate myself to get the last bits of coursework for the year and get them done. They will be exceptionally rubbish given that I haven’t done any work for any of the modules, or even been, and I don’t give a flying fuck about it all any more, but at least I could maybe scrape a pass. Actually, that’s not true. I got a first for one of the modules last semester just by writing in an academic style. That’s one of the advantages of being able to mimic other people’s styles. I guess I really should make a final push to get the year’s work done, passed and out of the way, but at the moment it feels like an exceptionally uninteresting thing.

I went a bit indie this weekend and bought some brown …read more.

[274] A thought April 4th, 2004 – 7:32pm Posted in Events No comments

I just read some amazing stuff I’d totally forgotten about. Steven sent me an archive of a load of the old Pants site stuff and a snapshot of my site from about three years ago was in there. There was this page that I’d totally forgotten about, called Dreams, which was as you’d expect a load of crap about my dreams. Man, the memories came flooding back! This wasn’t real memories either, this was memories of dreams, memories that are normally gone in seconds. There’s this one bit where I go back to school after quitting uni and Amanda and a load of other kids from my primary school class are there too, and Amanda puts her cheek against mine and tells me it’s alright… and I remember waking up and feeling how real that felt at the time, and when I read it again, it felt just as real …read more.