Empty bars in the afternoon
By means of extemporaneous discourse a study of the curiosities and peculiarities of the human condition in its many wicked and wise ways
 [145] The smell of rainJune 25th, 2001 – 11:35am Posted in  Good Things 
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It’s a common thing to love, I know, but I really do like it. Everything smells so fresh and clean… it’s a beautiful smell. The best time for it is if you wake up really early one morning while you’re camping, and you’re still half-pissed from the night before, and you unzip your tent and the smell of rain on grass hits you… it’s amazing.
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[140] Sexy drinking and great song openings June 21st, 2001 – 10:31am Posted in Good Things
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Sexy drinking (adj): a pint of real ale that performs fellatio upon your tongue, with an ABV of at least 5.2%, a fragrance mentioned in a million odes and a kick that knocks out your nads for the night. Best consumed in earthy, wooden rock pubs with friendly, fat barmen smiling wryly as you order the pint, and the opening of I Wanna Be Adored just kicking in as you sit astride your wooden stool. Nirvana will not occur should (a) females be present, (b) you are not in the company of your most comfortable friends, or (c) you are thinking about when to stop drinking. Women are genetically incapable of sexy drinking, and the comedown has vicious but addictive after-effects, most notably the compulsion to seek new drinking experiences that may serve up a second helping of this most sexy apertif.
