“You’re not actually a comedian though, are you?”- Eddie Izzard to Jonathan Ross
Obviously, with Britain coming to a frozen standstill this week, news people have been pretty much stuck to reporting on chronic grit shortages, school closures and abandoned Ford Fiestas. They haven’t therefore had much spare time to go hunting for other stories to bring us- a politician could quite easily have turned up at the Iraq inquiry this week and said Blair and Bush invaded because they belived Saddam had the secret recipe for Wotsits and no-one would have noticed.
It was lucky for snowbound reporters then that Jonathan Ross was kind enough to plop some news right into their laps earlier this week by announcing that he’d be leaving the BBC after 13 years. Understandably, the media were bored of talking about frozen precipitate and joyously splashed the news all over front pages and bulletins with gay abandon, as though this wasn’t so much the story of a personality leaving a TV station rather than that of God abandoning heaven in order to pursue a career as a deity in a different Universe.
And that lead me to thinking- why the fuss? How come the news can’t get enough of Wossy when, as far as I can gather, most people don’t seem too bothered about him either way? Why does he supposedly divide opinion when I can’t find anyone who truly hates or adores him?
What, exactly, is Jonathan Ross for?
On first looks, he’s the closest British TV can get to what has, for years, been their holy grail- a homegrown Letterman, Jay Leno for the Home Counties. We’ve always wanted to do a nightly chatshow in this country but we’ve never had anyone who could pull it off- something which Graham Norton found out to his cost when he went 5 times a week and discovered there’s only so many bizarre/ironic/creepy porn sites on the Internet you can show to a faux-shocked Barbara Windsor. Channel 5 tried launching with an ill-fated attempt at a US-style talkshow hosted by the hopelessly out-of-his depth Jack Docherty, an amiable enough comic with the unfortunate luck to have the exact appearance of disappointment made flesh.
Jack Docherty- no wonder Channel 5 used to show soft porn the rest of the time
Ross always had the sense to stay weekly; as much as anything, we don’t have the money for writers or the star-pulling power for every weeknight in the UK. He also had a crack at a topical monologue at the top of the show and, despite often straying into cloying sycophancy, he knew how to get the best out of the guests lolling on his sofa and hoping to promote their new film/book/show/attrocity. He also made sure he had an enlarged persona- though whereas Letterman goes for the cheeky laidback shaggy-dog-storyteller schtick and Leno is the slick, confident one-liner-guy, Ross built his image as the brash show-off in a way that wasn’t quite jokey enough to convince that it was an affectation. This was all fine until the Beeb allegedly gave him £18 million for 3 years work at the exact same time that everyone else on the planet was losing their jobs and shitting themselves about negative equity.
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And then he went on Russell Brand’s radio show.
Post suspension he’s hardly stopped making jokes about having 3 months off at every opportunity. It’s probably meant to show he’s cheeky and he’s come out of the other side untroubled by what happened and as strong as ever. In fact, it just looks lazy.
The thing is, throughout the whole Sachs furore, the whole attitude appeared to be from most people “so what? Move on.” Except the press kept banging on about it until he had his suspension, at which point they had something new to report. Then, 12 weeks later, he returned and was all over the pages for coming back from the enforced break that only the very same papers seemed to be interested in getting him.
And his show returned to pretty much the same figures it had beforehand. Ross had become part of the national furniture- not a particularly important bit like a sofa or the front door but a lamp which sits quietly on the bookshelf. If it was to disappear, you’d notice for a bit then get used to it not being there in short order. When it came back, it’d be like nothing had changed before you knew it.
That’s Jonathan Ross that is. Except you wouldn’t give the job of hosting Film Whatever Year It Is to a lamp, despite the fact that, to paraphrase a friend of mine, the lamp’s favourite film is unlikely to be ‘Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill!’ which would immediately make it the more qualified candidate.
And the other difference between a lamp and Jonathan Ross? Simple, I wouldn’t spend time wondering why so many press inches get dedicated to a lamp while, at the same time, doing 800 words on it myself.
How the hell does he do it?
Jonathan Ross · press coverage · talkshow
katemc39 · January 9, 2010 at 11:51am
Great post. I rarely find Jonathan Ross funny and just can’t comprehend WHY the BBC would pay him so much. As far as pithy and enjoyable goes on The British Isles, give me Stephen Fry, Bill Bailey, and even Sue Perkins. The Eddie Izzard quote is perfect. He’s NOT a comic is he? He’s just a lucky bastard in big suits that got passed a magical speaking stick.